


The One with the Advocate

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-24
Updated: 2007-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-25 05:50:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1634879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>People find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One with the Advocate

**Author's Note:**

> #yuletide people made me do it.
> 
> Written for ToraK

 

 

ï»¿When Holly finds out, she just laughs and invites Matt for dinner with the family. She treats him like a son, which weirds John the fuck out and Matt kind of floats through it in a zombie-like state, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

On his head.

With spikes in it.

Lucy already knows. She didn't so much find out as push the two of them into it head-first. John doesn't mind that. He just thinks it's a little weird that his daughter is writing gay porn about him and her ex-boyfriend.

And posting it on the internet.

They don't come up with a way to tell John's son, and then there are terrorists, and cheese cake for dinner, and they kind of forget in the time between that he doesn't know. At one point Matt steals a piece of cake and John kisses his ear to distract him and steal it back, at which point there is a choking sound. They spend the rest of the evening in the emergency room, being glared at by the two female McClanes.

Who are secretly laughing and laughing and laughing.

Matt doesn't have family, so the only one he would feel obliged to tell would be the Warlock. They get around to it after a really rather grueling session of Risk: LotR edition, which the Warlock quite prefers to the original. The good things is that he does not choke on an orc. The bad thing is that he kind of goes red in the face and yells: "You were gay all this time and never hit on me? What the fuck is wrong with you?" At which point Matt retreats up the stairs and kind of hides behind Warlock's mother.

Turns out Warlock isn't even gay, but would have liked the offer just for vanity's sake and they bond again over their mutual love for X-Files, Mulder's glasses and Scully's eye brows.

The rest of the world finds out when, a couple of days later, a reporter stumbles into a drug bust and ends up in the same hospital as John, where Matt sort of runs around panicked for a while, because even John McCane isn't all that good at being shot in the chest and still standing. Especially not the standing part.

So maybe he says a bit too much to the reporter, who knew a guy, who knew a gal, who'd worked with the guy that got clocked in the face by John McClane's wife eighteen years ago - a story that did, in fact, survive beyond the weekly news cycle because it made for great material at office christmas parties. The reporter goes and looks up McClane and figures that it's enough of a piece to keep his editor off his hackles for the busted bust.

They end up as a cover story in the Advocate and plastered all over the 'net, which makes Matt unbelievably glad that John is still no friend of the tech.

Which is why, at this point, John is not aware of exactly how many people are currently discussing his sex life, and Matt is deeply grateful for his ability to distract John with blow-jobs and really slow fucking. And curtains. Curtains really rock.

Because they might be those guys, but he refuses to be a fucking star on youtube.

 


End file.
